Expect The Unexpected

It’s already been almost a week since I left home and I can honestly tell you that I am still in shock that I am here. For many, you have this idea that I am In Thailand, soaking up the sun, probably laying on a nice beach somewhere, white sand between my toes and maybe, just maybe a cold drink in my hand. Nope, not even close. Instead, I am literally dying of heat, sweating 100% of the time (and I mean dripping sweat), not using an air conditioner at night in order to save money, having an extremely hard time adjusting to the food here and constantly feel like there are so many unknowns about this trip that I am on. However, although daunting, something about it is making me feel more humbled as a person and I am loving that. Visiting a country is completely different when you are not visiting as a tourist! So many people have these ideas of how amazing it would be to live in another country but do not realize how complicated it is to fully immerse yourself in that culture and live like a local. I am still experiencing some of the luxuries as a tourist however in a little over three weeks that will change dramatically. In September I could be moving to a place where I may be one of only a few English speaking people in my town (lmao I’m terrified)! The mix of emotions that I have been experiencing this week are surreal.

Most of you know that I have come to Thailand to teach English as a second language. As a result, I am taking a course that lasts a month and will certify me to teach English within Thailand and just about anywhere else. I just moved to a “resort” town called Hua Hin, approximately 3 hours south of Bangkok and will be living here for the duration of that month. Everyday I have to be at school around 7:45 am and generally have class all day until 4:00 pm with a little over 20 people that are pretty awesome. Our apartment is a far walk from school so everyday we have to take a Songthaew. This thing is hilarious. It’s a little passenger vehicle that is basically a truck that people can hop on and off of like a bus. They’re super cheap so they are very desirable to use in order to get around town.

So far my classes have consisted of Thai Language, Thai Culture, a Teacher Workshop and a class about our teaching placement once we finish the course. This week we also got to go on a couple of field trips and see some pretty cool things! Yesterday we got the opportunity to travel to a little rural area and visit a Pineapple farm. The pineapples here were amazing (so sweet and refreshing in this insane heat!!!)! Any pineapples that aren’t considered “good enough” for human consumption are saved and given away as a donation to the Hutsadin Elephant Sanctuary. After the pineapple farm this elephant sanctuary was our next little adventure. We all donated a little bit of money in order to take a few large bags with us to feed the elephants. This was an awesome experience. The elephants here are adorable! One in particular named Songkran was the cutest little thing I’ve even seen. This little baby Elephant is only 7 years old and can paint flowers and even play soccer (yes I just said an elephant could paint)! I’ve never seen anything like it in my life lol! It was super cute.

Today, we got to visit a dog rescue here in Hua Hin called Rescue paws and The Khao Tao Temple. Rescue Paws is amazing. All over Thailand there is a high population of stray dogs but Hua Hin in particular has a massive population of them. So, Rescue Paws was created by some amazing dog lovers who provide a place to take in these stray dogs and provide care for them in to ensure they live a better and healthier life. The goal is to have all of these dogs spayed and neutered to decrease the amount of homeless dogs in the town. Anyways, this place was great and even has some of the dogs up for adoption. They had mentioned that if we are interested we can adopt one and bring it back home with us. Not going to lie, I considered it a few times lmao. The dogs even have pretty sweet access to the beach which is clearly used to help aid their rehabilitation as well. After Rescue Paws we went to Khao Tao Temple. This temple was so serene. Located on a mountain, surrounded by trees and the ocean. We stayed there for a little while, hiked up the mountain to see the huge Buddha, learned a little bit about meditation, Buddhist monks and then headed back home. It has been crazy rainy all day so my roommate and our other friends decided to call it an early night and relax.

So here I am, inside my hot and sticky room, drinking warm beer and contemplating whether or not I should eat my instant noodles bought from a convenience store. Have a good night everyone- Or I guess good morning/afternoon for the most of you lol.

xoChaylavie

6 Things No One Tells You About The Nice Guy

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I’ve had my ups and downs in relationships. However, many of those so called “ups” were usually thrown right back down to the ground sadly because people aren’t always as kind as you’d believe them to be. Sometimes ignorance is definitely bliss but sometimes ignorance has nothing to do with it at all. Sometimes, people are just amazing actors and can fool you into believing almost anything. Bravo, bravo.

Like many, I’ve been with the guy who pretends to be nice but instead has a different and sneaky agenda to follow. I’ve been with the guy who claims to love everything about you but can’t wait for the chance to mold you into something more suited to his needs. I’ve been with the guy who pretends to pay attention during a conversation but is unable to partake in it because he actually has no idea what in the world you are talking about; usually because he isn’t interested enough. Lastly, I’ve been with the guy who can make you feel amazing about yourself one minute and make you question and doubt everything about yourself the next. I am not here to bash men. That is certainly not my intentions. In fact, this applies to men and their relationship with nasty, self-centered, egotistical women as well. However, since experiencing a relationship to date that is awesome and pretty freaking normal for once, I cannot fathom why more women today do not kick those confidence sucking, mind warping, and untrustworthy men to the curb! You see, it happens more often than not. Women put up with being treated like crap simply because they allow it, don’t value themselves, or even worse, they are not attracted to the “nice guy.”  Well I for one finally found my nice guy and guess what? He’s pretty great and… I am even attracted to him! I am so sick and tired of the nice guy finishing last. Why is it that so many woman give useless men all the opportunities in the world but refuse to give the nice guy a break from the “friend zone?”

Who freaking knows, but here are some of the obvious, not so quite obvious things about the nice guy that no one tells you…

1. He will become your best friend

He is going to genuinely care about you, your well-being and even more your day. There is nothing phony here, he actually cares. The best part is you will feel the sincerity when he asks how you are or what you have been up to. He is going to be your absolute favourite person to vent to, tell stories to and confide in and vice versa. There is no judgement from him, he’s your bestie! You will spend weekend nights in, order food, watch endless movies and end up passing out cuddled up next to each other because you are way too comfortable and way too full to stay awake.

2. Just because he is nice does not mean he is a push over

No he’s not a rug. To even assume that he is a doormat is unfair judgement and does not give you a hall pass to abuse the fact that he is a sweetheart. Furthermore, not every nice guy is going to allow you to walk all over them. You my lady are not a princess and do not deserve whatever your heart desires whenever you snap your fingers. He expects equality within this relationship. Want to keep your nice guy…nice? Treat him with the same kindness and respect and he won’t be going anywhere.

3. He’s a man. A real man

He has absolutely no issue being a gentleman. In fact, it comes naturally to him. He has good morals and values and has no intentions of ever making you doubt his feelings towards you. He could care less about what others think about him. He is confident but doesn’t show off.  To him chivalry is not dead. He will wine and dine you, however, when the shoe is placed on the other foot, he is perfectly okay being treated as well. The best part is that this doesn’t make him feel emasculated. Instead, he feels appreciated just as he deserves.

4. He doesn’t play games

He is honest. If he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn’t he doesn’t. Either way, he won’t hang you out to dry. He will never lead you on and make you believe in a relationship that isn’t there. However, if you do end up in a relationship with him, everything falls into place with such ease; not because everything is always perfect but simply because you can always count on him to be there in times of need.

5. He is not perfect but to you he will be

He is the perfect combination of sass and sweetheart. He knows there is a time and a place for everything and makes sound judgement based on that. There may come a time an argument will arise. That is just that way relationships work. It is inevitable. However, it will be different from any other asshole you have dated in the past. You can have an arguments knowing for a fact he will not resort to nasty put downs or threaten to leave you. He will not be malicious with you because no matter how upset he might be he would never want to cause you any harm.

6. He exists

Need I say more?  Ladies, wake up and smell the coffee.

xo Chaylavie

Roll with The Punches

It is one month until I say my good-byes. One month until I roll that big suitcase of mine-which will have my life packed in it- and board that plane. One month until my life will forever be changed. One month until I will find out where my mental threshold resides and whether or not I can push beyond those capacities. One month until I experience a new world of everlasting heat and humidity and exactly ONE month until I find out if true love can withstand the test of distance.

Do not think for two seconds that I am not scared to death because I absolutely am. Thinking about what is to come is a scary thought, a lonely thought and intimidating one. However, it is those characteristics that drive me. They are exactly what excite me about venturing into new and unusual waters. I guess you could say I am a wanderer. I lust for it.

Today, July 9, 2015, officially marks two weeks until I leave. Holy cow, does time ever fly! I am not fully sure how I am supposed to be feeling but I sure can tell you I am probably experiencing every emotion even freaking possible! I was shopping for professional work outfits yesterday, which has not been the easiest of tasks, but such is life. Anyways, a retail associate and I started talking about my big move. She asked me a question I have been asked a 100 times this month.

“Are you ready yet?”

In my usual, anxious, classic Chay self I replied “Absolutely freaking not! Not even close.”

Well, I probably shouldn’t over exaggerate. I am very organized and I have the majority of my packing and all my necessary documents ready to go. However, despite my endless hours of planning my mind is not quite as organized.

She ended our conversation by telling me something stuck to me like leather clothes on a hot day (that’s attractive lol).

“You can never be fully ready or prepared enough for the unknown.”

Smart girl. She made a point. An excellent point actually. So I guess I am going to have to get used to this-the unknown. My life for the next year or so is going to be full of it. Time to roll with the punches!

xo Chaylavie

Thought of The Day

I don’t care if people think travel is a waste of money. To me, it is money well spent. & through such a transaction I don’t gain something materialistic or tangible but I do gain memories that will last a lifetime. To me, that is freakin priceless! ❤

xo Chaylavie

Long Distance

I mentioned in a previous post that in a few short months I am moving Thailand for a little over a year to teach English and yes I will be leaving my other half behind.

Am I scared? Heck ya! But it does not mean I am not willing to give it my all. Maybe I am more of an optimist or maybe I am just this huge, sappy, hopeless romantic. I mean, I have never really done the whole long distance thing before. However, I need to have faith that it is possible.

Many people assume that long distance relationships do not work. I have actually been asked the same question over 100 times now “You’re moving to Thailand…What does that mean for your relationship now?” Common, what the eff is that supposed to mean?! Okay, okay… I understand that living on the other side of the world away from your loved one is a little bit drastic, complicating, annoying, scary and even inconvenient but it is not impossible. In fact, as long as you want something enough, nothing is. 

I am human, and yes the idea that many challenges may arise as a result of my move completely freaks me out. To be honest, when I made my final decision to move, I  even made myself one promise;

Under no circumstances DO NOT date or get emotionally involved with anyone during my remaining months before moving well over 11,000 kilometers away.

Well let me tell you, that promise went flying right out the door. A big thanks goes out to my emotions for that one! As per the usual you have taken me on a ride, yet again. In all seriousness though, the truth is that I could have never prepared myself for the turn my life has taken over the last few months. I have been fortunate enough to meet a very special person who I can now refer to as my rock. I have never experienced anything that can even come close to what him and I share. I have never been so genuinely happy. The sad reality is that I have to leave him here but I am okay because I know we will be.

xo Chaylavie

The 5 Depressing Truths About Being in Your Mid 20’s

I might only be on the brink of my “mid-twenties” but in honour of my 24th birthday only being a few short weeks away I thought it would be appropriate to discuss some of the unattractive things related to this age bracket. Ever since my graduation from university last May I have been faced with some ugly truths, 5 to be exact. Sure, being in your twenties is amazing and I am definitely not taking it for granted. I know, I know, I am free, able to make my own life decisions, not required to sport dorky braces (that took over my entire damn 4 year high school experience!) anymore, and can enjoy the “finer” things in life (whatever the heck that entails). However, my expectations and excitement about being this age have come to a quick halt solely because it is not going the way I expected it to. Simply put, growing up sucks.

  1. A lot of your friends will go MIA. I had all of these exciting plans once I finished my undergrad. I spent 4 and a half years conjuring up all of the things that my girls and myself would be able to do once I finished. Recreate the Hangover on a Vegas getaway, enjoying the single life with all of my single friends, go wine tasting while spending the day in Niagara on the lake and getting pampered at a spa? Yes please! However, fast forward to convocation and thereafter and I have yet to do any of those things with them. Instead, people are busy with their own lives now and that’s just the way it is. In order to make plans, one must simply create a Facebook event or group chat to ensure a time and place that everyone can get together. This planning will usually happen at least a month prior to the event, however most of the time it still never works out. Why you may ask? Because it was planned so freaking far in advance (just to ensure EVERYONE could make it), that many of your silly buddies forget (or so they say) and end up being a no show. You can now mourn and say goodbye to the random group hang outs you were so accustomed to in both high school and university. That shit just doesn’t work at this age.
  2. All at once you are smacked with bills (and not just any bills, better yet, bills that put you in way over $20,000 in debt) Shout out goes to my university for that one! Dafuq did this happen? (RYE HIGH, HOWS IT HANGING YOU RICH BASTARD). In addition to this stressful transition from being a broke ass student to a broke ass young adult, you have a sudden realization that you are now experiencing normal financial responsibilities and obligations. Yay! However, it is at this stage where for the first time ever you discover that yourself and the majority of your friends are no longer on the same playing field. Some of friends will land their dream job right out of uni, pulling in enough cashola to live their luxurious lifestyle, in their cute little condo, in their cute little neighborhood (usually in downtown Toronto), while enjoying their cute authentic, Instagram-worthy meals, while others can barely afford a pot to pee in because their student loans are so through the roof and they are unable to make any payments because they are unable to find any job/career in their field, usually because they studied something random like philosophy. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to what I like to call the “young adults great financial divide”!
    Welcome to a world where you and your friends can no longer agree on what group outings/activities are affordable and what is not.
  3. You sometimes find yourself in the “in-between” stage among friends. This is the stage where some of your bestest partners in crime decide it is a good idea to get “wifed” or “hubbied” up, get a house, make babies and the whole shebang while the other half of your pals are still getting white girl wasted, eating street meat after the club at 3AM (or better yet Shawarma!!! #yum), spending the night hugging toilets and not having the slightest recollection of how they got their sloppy ass home the next morning. Instead, you find yourself in this grey area where you sort of don’t fit into either. This just results in you being more confused than you already were about your silly age in the first place.
  4. You start to notice that you can’t eat “whatever” you please to anymore. Listen, I like food and I like to eat food even more. In my head I am already a 500lbs woman, however more recently I’ve realized that those thoughts may become a reality if I don’t cool it. It is just a little bit more complicated to stay in shape now and I know for damn certain that it is age related! Yes I am still practically a baby, but let me tell you, at one time I could eat all I wanted and knew that only working out a few times a week, or remaining relatively active would help me stay in shape. Unfortunately, that is not the case anymore. It seems that the “freshman 15” decided it enjoyed the party, caught feelings and is now going to stick around for the long haul. But meh, maybe it’s just me. Damn you muffin top, you SOB!
  5. You are dying to move out of your parents’ house and live on your own but are slapped with the complex reality that you lack the financial means to do this. Unless… you have a roommate! If you are anything like me, the whole roommate idea not only freaks you out me but it makes you cringe. No offense to any of my beloved friends (you’re all the best!) but even the thought of living with you churns my stomach. Not because I don’t love you but simply because of all the potential ways this could pan out. It is a 50/50 and there is no in between. You’ll either love the crap out of your roommate/bestie, making every night just like a sleepover, spending weeknights sprawled out in horizontal position on the couch in the living room, watching the Bachelorette or re-runs of Jersey Shore, asking your girl to pass you the Cheetos OR you’ll find yourself starting to come up with the best way you can get some harmless vengeance on him or her for constantly eating all of your cereal, stealing your protein powder, leaving the bathroom a repulsive mess or refusing to pay for their share of the Wi-Fi simply because they “don’t” need/use it. In that case they are full of shit because we’re in 2015. Common, even my grandma uses it. Also, by harmless vengeance I mean doing something that would obviously not put anyone’s life into danger but give you the sweetest sense of gratification. Your roommate wants to be a disrespectful, unappreciative, princess? You can now sleep at night knowing that you secretly used their toothbrush to clean the toilet bowl. Or better yet, turn it up a notch and re-enact that scene from Horrible Bosses where Kurt shoves his bosses toothbrush where the sun don’t shine. Lol, okay don’t actually do any of those things. However my point is, this uncertainty is way too big of a risk factor for myself. I’d rather keep my friends as my friends and not run the risk of becoming archenemies, thank you very much. The truth is we all have our own habits and a different way of living. The smallest differences have the potential to become magnified, which can leave sweet besties or acquaintances extremely hostile, thus resulting in a disastrous falling out all due to living under the same roof.

I guess I managed to go on quite a rant here. However, do not lie for even two seconds, you know damn well you related to at least one or more of these points. Being in your mid 20’s you are, without a doubt, going to experience some of the best years of your life. However, this age has its faults and that’s just because it comes with so many uncertainties. In all honesty, it is just plain weird when you actually realize that you’re growing up!

xo Chaylavie

Content

I think I can finally say that things are coming together in my life. By all means I still don’t have all the answers to everything but I am definitely not the same person I was when I started my journey. I have a lot to be grateful for at this stage and could not be happier. It is fascinating what positive reinforcement from both friends and family can do for your own personal growth. As a result of such a strong foundation, I have learned a lot within the last year. I’ve learned that sometimes you need to sacrifice the feelings of others temporarily if it makes a positive impact on your well being. I’ve learned that some of the most complicated and daunting things in life involve taking risks; but without risks life is left without excitement and surprise. I’ve learned how important it is to be fearless, even if you have to force yourself for a while (you’ll eventually get there) you can truly accomplish any thing your heart desires to. With fearlessness comes a whole new world of opportunity! Last but definitely not least, I’ve recently discovered the difference between loving someone and falling absolutely head over heels in love with someone.

If you ask me life is pretty good right now. All I had to do was take control of it. However, I also know that God is ultimately in control, and for that I am forever blessed.

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Xo Chaylavie