Let me start off by saying that I am in no way, shape or form a psychologist. Nope, not even close. Actually, to be quite honest I do not have the slightest desire to even try to delve into the behaviour and mental processes of another human being. To me that is just plain exhausting. However, from time to time I get all sentimental (yes I can be a suck) and think about the one commonality that most of us share in this world. The desire for true Happiness. My quest for knowledge on such a topic is not necessarily because I myself am not happy (although, there have been times which I could tell you otherwise) but rather because of how desirable it is. The feeling of happiness is one of the most beautiful and amazing emotions that we are able to experience so it makes sense why we all yearn for it. But is it really attainable and if so, how does one capture and ensure it will never slip away? And an even bigger question lies within a paradox itself; if so many people are really searching for it then why are so many without it?

For me personally, lately I have really been putting a lot of thought into what happiness is and what it even really means. With the recent end of my three and a half year relationship I developed some time to reflect on my own life (which I believe EVERYONE needs to do at some point). This lead me to take a closer look at my personal values, morals, beliefs and more importantly if I am doing the right things to satisfy my very own soul. The truth is, these questions had been ringing loud in my head for the last five years; however I was always more comfortable ignoring them altogether. But just like everything that is bothersome, that uncomfortable, claustrophobic and irritating feeling grew stronger and stronger. There was no more denying the truth. Finally, the realization came that I have not been very proactive with the true desires of my heart. Although others may have not seen it, in many ways I became a person that I never wanted to be. It was almost as if someone had blindfolded me for the last little bit of my life, spun me around and threw me off into a completely different direction than I could have anticipated. But I am not going to sit here and give you a sob story about all of it because that is not what is important. What is important is the lesson learned as a result. Some might say it is a part of growing up, but I believe the simple truth is that I finally realized that I was not doing the things that made ME happy. I became more of a people-pleaser rather than a self-pleaser (which I think is a common struggle among many) and the reason behind it is a no-brainer. We are always told to be concerned about other peoples feelings but sometimes by doing that we neglect our very own. As a result, we end up putting our own happiness in jeopardy.

Happiness is an ambiguous term solely because it can/does take on a different definition to different individuals. Therefore, it is a little more complex to determine the solution to finding it. Also, I know things are always easier said than done and yes it is safe to say that many lack happiness in their lives for numerous reasons (related to work, marriage, school, friends, finances, blah, blah the list goes on) that may be completely out of their control. Yes, I am even well aware that not everyone in this world has started from the same playing field, therefore it becomes even more of a challenge for some. But from time to time I wonder. What if one was able to change all of those things that deter them from finding it? Instead, one could easily rid their life of all the negativity and strictly allow the things that are positive to consume it? What if one was able to ensure that they could strive to make themselves as happy as they are willing to make others?  Or simply, what if happiness was tangible and one could simply snap their finger and to their surprise a scroll labeled Your Desired Happiness would unroll right at their feet? Sure, I do not have the answer to all of these questions and unfortunately there is probably no right answer. However, what I do know is that not enough people take on the opportunity to sit down and really analyze their own life and what will bring them long-term joy and satisfaction.

When is the last time you ever took some good ole alone time and reflected on your own life and discovered whether or not you are doing the things to satisfy YOUR soul? Keep searching and I am sure you will find your answer. After all, happiness is in the heart of the beholder.

Ciao xo,

Chaylavie