6 Signs You’re Getting Old

You may want to throat punch me for this but I’m feeling old. Cue the backlash and hate.

In the last couple of years alone I lived abroad for almost a year, I backpacked with my boyfriend for two months in Thailand, Malaysia and Bali- Indonesia, moved back home to Toronto, Canada and spent what felt like forever finding a new job, reconnected with friends, spent a lot of my time eating…ALL THE FOODS, went on another couple of trips to Mexico and Nova Scotia- woo travel and even bought a house with the boyfriend!

With my life changing so drastically due to the aforementioned I feel aged haha. Sure I’m only 26 but I feel like I have encompassed a newfound maturity. Ladies and gentleman I’d like you to give me a round of applause, I am growing up. So maybe obnoxiously stating that I feel old is a slight exaggeration but I’ll tell you, certain things have changed. Boy, have they changed. Maybe for the better & maybe for the worse. Either way life at this age is different, confusing and I’m not sure if it’s empowering, just downright scary or annoying AF?!

Lets be real for a minute, I am still the same youthful knob that I have always been. I laugh when I shouldn’t, I have the attention span of a gold fish, I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached, I secretly sneak around the house late at nights with spoon in hand to indulge in a jar of peanut butter and no matter how hard I bloody well try I cannot seem rid my self of my closeted/ not closeted infatuation with Justin Bieber (feel free to unfriend me now). However, things that never used to matter or I hated are beginning to take on a whole new meaning in this stage of my life and I am almost positive you will agree.

  1. Sleep is the time you long for all day. From the moment you wake up for work you are ready to go back to bed. Bed is your end goal EVERYDAY.  If you can manage to make it past 11:00PM without yawning I salute you. In fact you are a champ! For as long as you can remember you have always been a night owl. Now you are lucky if you can stay up long enough to finish a movie on Netflix. Who is this stranger that stares at you in the mirror?! Anyways sleep is bomb and you realize your cozy time spent in bed is WAY more desirable than going out to a club or bar. End. Of. Story.
  2. People you called your friends will out of the blue stop talking to you. & sometimes for no real reason at all. People drift apart and that’s all there is to it. Truth is, you are at a point in your life where you don’t even care. If they care about you enough they won’t be going anywhere. Otherwise, “hasta la vista baby.”
  3. Coffee is life. Listen to me. Coffee is and always will be the life of the party. By “life” I mean the magical warm liquid that turns clouds into rays of sunshine & by “party I mean work. Coffee has become more of a necessity to you than it probably should. At this age your coffee addiction has gone into beast mode. 3 cups in and it’s only 9:30AM POUR ME ANOTHER ONE JOE. Mornings are your worst enemy. Well guess what? I have a cure for you. BAM coffee. Feel free to thank me later… with a coffee.
  4. You are still unsure of what you want to be when you grow up… But… You are grown up… Well sort of? Friends are getting married, having kids, having careers and you’re over here trying to figure out how much laundry detergent you would really need to make the washing machine explode with bubbles… Anyways, you feel like everyone has it figured out but you. This never bothered you up until now. The pressure is on, but what you don’t realize is that almost all your peers feel the EXACT same way.
  5. You don’t like people. Okay maybe that is a bit extreme but you go through periods where you just don’t want to be social. Leave me the frig alone, let me be will ya! The reality is… You deal with people all day long, whether it be work, friends or family and sometimes you just get burnt out. You treasure your alone time but find yourself in a continuous and annoying conundrum. You struggle between the desire to be invited out to social gatherings (due to fear of damn well missing out FOMO) and acknowledging that you wouldn’t go out even if you were invited- but it’s nice to feel wanted ;). Overall, why be social when you can (once again) get cozied up at home watching and eating whatever the heck you want, as much as you want and as long as you want without any interruptions?
  6. Last but no way in heck the least that entitled sense of self that you have potentially encompassed throughout your young millennial life is starting to shatter…and I mean EVERYWHERE. You experience the harsh realization that entering your career and making BANK almost immediately after post secondary was nothing but wishful thinking. You thought you couldn’t afford anything while you were in school only to find out it’s even worse once you’re finished. LMAO the struggle is real. The older you get, the more responsibilities and obligations you have- hence being broke 99.9% of the time.  You actually have to work hard to climb the ladder. If this hard realization isn’t a shear indication that your brain has matured I don’t know what is!

xo Chaylavie

6 Things No One Tells You About The Nice Guy

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I’ve had my ups and downs in relationships. However, many of those so called “ups” were usually thrown right back down to the ground sadly because people aren’t always as kind as you’d believe them to be. Sometimes ignorance is definitely bliss but sometimes ignorance has nothing to do with it at all. Sometimes, people are just amazing actors and can fool you into believing almost anything. Bravo, bravo.

Like many, I’ve been with the guy who pretends to be nice but instead has a different and sneaky agenda to follow. I’ve been with the guy who claims to love everything about you but can’t wait for the chance to mold you into something more suited to his needs. I’ve been with the guy who pretends to pay attention during a conversation but is unable to partake in it because he actually has no idea what in the world you are talking about; usually because he isn’t interested enough. Lastly, I’ve been with the guy who can make you feel amazing about yourself one minute and make you question and doubt everything about yourself the next. I am not here to bash men. That is certainly not my intentions. In fact, this applies to men and their relationship with nasty, self-centered, egotistical women as well. However, since experiencing a relationship to date that is awesome and pretty freaking normal for once, I cannot fathom why more women today do not kick those confidence sucking, mind warping, and untrustworthy men to the curb! You see, it happens more often than not. Women put up with being treated like crap simply because they allow it, don’t value themselves, or even worse, they are not attracted to the “nice guy.”  Well I for one finally found my nice guy and guess what? He’s pretty great and… I am even attracted to him! I am so sick and tired of the nice guy finishing last. Why is it that so many woman give useless men all the opportunities in the world but refuse to give the nice guy a break from the “friend zone?”

Who freaking knows, but here are some of the obvious, not so quite obvious things about the nice guy that no one tells you…

1. He will become your best friend

He is going to genuinely care about you, your well-being and even more your day. There is nothing phony here, he actually cares. The best part is you will feel the sincerity when he asks how you are or what you have been up to. He is going to be your absolute favourite person to vent to, tell stories to and confide in and vice versa. There is no judgement from him, he’s your bestie! You will spend weekend nights in, order food, watch endless movies and end up passing out cuddled up next to each other because you are way too comfortable and way too full to stay awake.

2. Just because he is nice does not mean he is a push over

No he’s not a rug. To even assume that he is a doormat is unfair judgement and does not give you a hall pass to abuse the fact that he is a sweetheart. Furthermore, not every nice guy is going to allow you to walk all over them. You my lady are not a princess and do not deserve whatever your heart desires whenever you snap your fingers. He expects equality within this relationship. Want to keep your nice guy…nice? Treat him with the same kindness and respect and he won’t be going anywhere.

3. He’s a man. A real man

He has absolutely no issue being a gentleman. In fact, it comes naturally to him. He has good morals and values and has no intentions of ever making you doubt his feelings towards you. He could care less about what others think about him. He is confident but doesn’t show off.  To him chivalry is not dead. He will wine and dine you, however, when the shoe is placed on the other foot, he is perfectly okay being treated as well. The best part is that this doesn’t make him feel emasculated. Instead, he feels appreciated just as he deserves.

4. He doesn’t play games

He is honest. If he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn’t he doesn’t. Either way, he won’t hang you out to dry. He will never lead you on and make you believe in a relationship that isn’t there. However, if you do end up in a relationship with him, everything falls into place with such ease; not because everything is always perfect but simply because you can always count on him to be there in times of need.

5. He is not perfect but to you he will be

He is the perfect combination of sass and sweetheart. He knows there is a time and a place for everything and makes sound judgement based on that. There may come a time an argument will arise. That is just that way relationships work. It is inevitable. However, it will be different from any other asshole you have dated in the past. You can have an arguments knowing for a fact he will not resort to nasty put downs or threaten to leave you. He will not be malicious with you because no matter how upset he might be he would never want to cause you any harm.

6. He exists

Need I say more?  Ladies, wake up and smell the coffee.

xo Chaylavie

Thought of The Day

I don’t care if people think travel is a waste of money. To me, it is money well spent. & through such a transaction I don’t gain something materialistic or tangible but I do gain memories that will last a lifetime. To me, that is freakin priceless! ❤

xo Chaylavie

Batmobile in the TDOT!

Last night was interesting to say the least. Suicide Squad is currently being filmed in Toronto and since I practically work walking distance from the majority of the locations the cast and crew have been working, I decided it would be a perfect opportunity to attempt to get in on some of the action. My boyfriend and I spent quite a few hours waiting for Yonge St. to transform into the movie set that everyone had been excited to see. Although we did not get a chance to see any of the actors/actresses in the movie we were lucky enough to see both the Batmobile and The Jokers car! Not going to lie, it was pretty awesome to see Toronto turn into something that you rarely get a chance to see unless you’re in Hollywood.

xo Chaylavie

6 Things Only People With Wanderlust Will Understand

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1. Money=Travel

You truly feel like the very purpose of your existence is to explore this enormous world that you reside in. No matter how many places you visit, you will never be freaking satisfied. You always want more. Some may tell you that you are silly for spending so much money on travel. Yes, I of all people understand how expensive it can be (you do not want to know how much I have spent on my adventures in the last 4 and a half years). However, no matter how expensive, as long as the adventure and excitement is promising, you WILL find a way to make it happen. To you, travel is money well spent.

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2. The Fever Is Real

Once you get bit in the ass by your good ol’ pal the travel bug (and you will), you are infected and you will go to any lengths to ensure that you can continue your travels. Travel to you is not just a “vacation”. In fact it is a lifestyle! You know that there are endless possibilities and get excited at the slightest thought of what you will see next. Your desires are fed by knowing there will always be a NEW place, adventure, culture, food, timezone, climate, landscape and beauty that you can experience.

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3. You’re Always Planning, Always

During a trip you are already making a mental list of the next possible destination/s that you can visit, meanwhile your current trip has not even come to an end. It becomes a sick obsession. You start to become absolutely fascinated with the idea of picking up and just leaving. No plans, no destination in particular, just get up, grab a few essential things, book a flight and go.

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4. It’s Not A Dealbreaker But It’s Close

Your significant or potential significant other MUST and I mean MUST at the very least have some travel goals in mind. We who suffer from wanderlust need a companion who can understand our strong impulsive desire to get around. If not, we are going to have a problem. In our minds travelling the world equals a perfect life. However, add a travel enthused lover into that equation and you end up with pure bliss!

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5. You Are Social Media’s Worst Nightmare

You devote your time on social media to stalk travel pictures others have posted. Your very own Instagram is flooded with so many of your own personal travel images that your friends begin to become annoyed with you and at times even contemplate unfollowing you. You also become quite the hashtag whore in order to share your pictures with other like-minded individuals (#travel #travelbug #adventure blah blah blah #hastagmentalcase). In doing so you end up with follows and likes from some pretty cool and experienced adventure seekers/backpackers.

6. Comfort Zone? What’s That?

Travel is something you crave. You find it absolutely irresistible and would go to any lengths to do so. This world is a lot bigger than what we could ever imagine. I say, why not discover it? For those of us who lustfully wander, we prefer to find the beauty beyond the confines of our comfort zone.

-Chaylavie xo

The 5 Depressing Truths About Being in Your Mid 20’s

I might only be on the brink of my “mid-twenties” but in honour of my 24th birthday only being a few short weeks away I thought it would be appropriate to discuss some of the unattractive things related to this age bracket. Ever since my graduation from university last May I have been faced with some ugly truths, 5 to be exact. Sure, being in your twenties is amazing and I am definitely not taking it for granted. I know, I know, I am free, able to make my own life decisions, not required to sport dorky braces (that took over my entire damn 4 year high school experience!) anymore, and can enjoy the “finer” things in life (whatever the heck that entails). However, my expectations and excitement about being this age have come to a quick halt solely because it is not going the way I expected it to. Simply put, growing up sucks.

  1. A lot of your friends will go MIA. I had all of these exciting plans once I finished my undergrad. I spent 4 and a half years conjuring up all of the things that my girls and myself would be able to do once I finished. Recreate the Hangover on a Vegas getaway, enjoying the single life with all of my single friends, go wine tasting while spending the day in Niagara on the lake and getting pampered at a spa? Yes please! However, fast forward to convocation and thereafter and I have yet to do any of those things with them. Instead, people are busy with their own lives now and that’s just the way it is. In order to make plans, one must simply create a Facebook event or group chat to ensure a time and place that everyone can get together. This planning will usually happen at least a month prior to the event, however most of the time it still never works out. Why you may ask? Because it was planned so freaking far in advance (just to ensure EVERYONE could make it), that many of your silly buddies forget (or so they say) and end up being a no show. You can now mourn and say goodbye to the random group hang outs you were so accustomed to in both high school and university. That shit just doesn’t work at this age.
  2. All at once you are smacked with bills (and not just any bills, better yet, bills that put you in way over $20,000 in debt) Shout out goes to my university for that one! Dafuq did this happen? (RYE HIGH, HOWS IT HANGING YOU RICH BASTARD). In addition to this stressful transition from being a broke ass student to a broke ass young adult, you have a sudden realization that you are now experiencing normal financial responsibilities and obligations. Yay! However, it is at this stage where for the first time ever you discover that yourself and the majority of your friends are no longer on the same playing field. Some of friends will land their dream job right out of uni, pulling in enough cashola to live their luxurious lifestyle, in their cute little condo, in their cute little neighborhood (usually in downtown Toronto), while enjoying their cute authentic, Instagram-worthy meals, while others can barely afford a pot to pee in because their student loans are so through the roof and they are unable to make any payments because they are unable to find any job/career in their field, usually because they studied something random like philosophy. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to what I like to call the “young adults great financial divide”!
    Welcome to a world where you and your friends can no longer agree on what group outings/activities are affordable and what is not.
  3. You sometimes find yourself in the “in-between” stage among friends. This is the stage where some of your bestest partners in crime decide it is a good idea to get “wifed” or “hubbied” up, get a house, make babies and the whole shebang while the other half of your pals are still getting white girl wasted, eating street meat after the club at 3AM (or better yet Shawarma!!! #yum), spending the night hugging toilets and not having the slightest recollection of how they got their sloppy ass home the next morning. Instead, you find yourself in this grey area where you sort of don’t fit into either. This just results in you being more confused than you already were about your silly age in the first place.
  4. You start to notice that you can’t eat “whatever” you please to anymore. Listen, I like food and I like to eat food even more. In my head I am already a 500lbs woman, however more recently I’ve realized that those thoughts may become a reality if I don’t cool it. It is just a little bit more complicated to stay in shape now and I know for damn certain that it is age related! Yes I am still practically a baby, but let me tell you, at one time I could eat all I wanted and knew that only working out a few times a week, or remaining relatively active would help me stay in shape. Unfortunately, that is not the case anymore. It seems that the “freshman 15” decided it enjoyed the party, caught feelings and is now going to stick around for the long haul. But meh, maybe it’s just me. Damn you muffin top, you SOB!
  5. You are dying to move out of your parents’ house and live on your own but are slapped with the complex reality that you lack the financial means to do this. Unless… you have a roommate! If you are anything like me, the whole roommate idea not only freaks you out me but it makes you cringe. No offense to any of my beloved friends (you’re all the best!) but even the thought of living with you churns my stomach. Not because I don’t love you but simply because of all the potential ways this could pan out. It is a 50/50 and there is no in between. You’ll either love the crap out of your roommate/bestie, making every night just like a sleepover, spending weeknights sprawled out in horizontal position on the couch in the living room, watching the Bachelorette or re-runs of Jersey Shore, asking your girl to pass you the Cheetos OR you’ll find yourself starting to come up with the best way you can get some harmless vengeance on him or her for constantly eating all of your cereal, stealing your protein powder, leaving the bathroom a repulsive mess or refusing to pay for their share of the Wi-Fi simply because they “don’t” need/use it. In that case they are full of shit because we’re in 2015. Common, even my grandma uses it. Also, by harmless vengeance I mean doing something that would obviously not put anyone’s life into danger but give you the sweetest sense of gratification. Your roommate wants to be a disrespectful, unappreciative, princess? You can now sleep at night knowing that you secretly used their toothbrush to clean the toilet bowl. Or better yet, turn it up a notch and re-enact that scene from Horrible Bosses where Kurt shoves his bosses toothbrush where the sun don’t shine. Lol, okay don’t actually do any of those things. However my point is, this uncertainty is way too big of a risk factor for myself. I’d rather keep my friends as my friends and not run the risk of becoming archenemies, thank you very much. The truth is we all have our own habits and a different way of living. The smallest differences have the potential to become magnified, which can leave sweet besties or acquaintances extremely hostile, thus resulting in a disastrous falling out all due to living under the same roof.

I guess I managed to go on quite a rant here. However, do not lie for even two seconds, you know damn well you related to at least one or more of these points. Being in your mid 20’s you are, without a doubt, going to experience some of the best years of your life. However, this age has its faults and that’s just because it comes with so many uncertainties. In all honesty, it is just plain weird when you actually realize that you’re growing up!

xo Chaylavie

Content

I think I can finally say that things are coming together in my life. By all means I still don’t have all the answers to everything but I am definitely not the same person I was when I started my journey. I have a lot to be grateful for at this stage and could not be happier. It is fascinating what positive reinforcement from both friends and family can do for your own personal growth. As a result of such a strong foundation, I have learned a lot within the last year. I’ve learned that sometimes you need to sacrifice the feelings of others temporarily if it makes a positive impact on your well being. I’ve learned that some of the most complicated and daunting things in life involve taking risks; but without risks life is left without excitement and surprise. I’ve learned how important it is to be fearless, even if you have to force yourself for a while (you’ll eventually get there) you can truly accomplish any thing your heart desires to. With fearlessness comes a whole new world of opportunity! Last but definitely not least, I’ve recently discovered the difference between loving someone and falling absolutely head over heels in love with someone.

If you ask me life is pretty good right now. All I had to do was take control of it. However, I also know that God is ultimately in control, and for that I am forever blessed.

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Xo Chaylavie

Where My Heart Lies

Ever since my first major family vacation at the age of 16 I have been brutally attacked, infected and consumed by the travel bug. As a result, over the last seven years I have traveled to many interesting and exciting places. I promised myself that as soon as I got my blog up and running I would take some time to focus and reflect on the many adventures I have been on.This blog post in specific will not focus on the various places I have been too however it will focus on one destination in particular; the place where I left my heart…Austria. I visited Austria back in 2011 for a university Field Studies course. This course was designed for 3rd and 4th year students to expose them to a range of issues particular to the visited countries and regions. Anyways rather than boring you with all the nitty gritty details let me illustrate why Austria is one of my favourite places on this planet.

Enjoy!

xo Chaylavie

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A New Year A New Adventure

So 2014 is a thing of the past. Another 365 days have come and gone and finally it is out with the old and in with the new! And what a better way to start a year off than by planning some upcoming adventures? Yes you heard right, this gal has some extremely exciting and life changing plans taking place this year and I cannot wait to share! There are some specific long-term goals that I had set out to accomplish once I completed my undergraduate degree. Unfortunately, life temporarily got into the way and had me believe that those goals were not achievable. However, a big ole apple decided to knock me on the head, figuratively of course (much like those cartoons of Sir Isaac Newton) and now those goals are within arm’s reach. Although I cannot say too much about these goals at the moment I will be posting A LOT about them sometime soon in the near future! What are your goals and aspirations for 2015? Remember, anything is possible if you want it enough ;).

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  xo Chaylavie