Yeah, I am that girl…The one who is overly friendly, will find humour in most of the jokes you tell, feel guilty refusing to do you a favour and will probably never confront you if you hurt my feelings. I am what society would refer to as “The Nice Girl” or maybe even “The Girl Next door” (unfortunately nothing like Elisha Cuthbert). But more importantly, I am that girl who, especially if you are of the opposite sex, will most likely send you all the wrong signals. Being the nice girl definitely has its up’s. I mean, for one, we never lack in the friend department. This is simply because most people enjoy our company since we possess such a positive outlook on just about everything. As a result, our social life can be quite full of excitement and events. We can always count on someone to lend us a hand. People usually have a hard time saying no to a bright eyed, smiling, friendly gal. In addition, what is even more satisfying about being nice is that we have the ability to make others happy. That in itself is a reward. However, like all things, being that nice girl (or person in general) has its disadvantages. Let me explain:

1. We get taken advantaged of…Pretty much with everything. If someone asks us to take their shift at work we probably will. In a hurry and need to bud me at the grocery store? Sure go right ahead (even though I was in a hurry too!). Wrong meal given to me at a restaurant? It’s okay I’ll eat it anyways (even though I certainly didn’t intend on it!!!).  Just because I am nice doesn’t mean I have a kick me sign on my back. I am not a donkey or a workhorse. Sure I will go out of my way for others (usually because I am too shy to say no), but please don’t abuse that privilege. Furthermore, If I offer to help you out a few times this does not give you the go-ahead to assume I am available at every drop of a pin. I have a life too you know.

2. We send guys all the wrong messages. The old saying you cant just be “friends” with the opposite sex might have some truth to it. Being genuinely nice to those guys you solely consider friends seems to give off the idea that maybe you want something a little more romantic. The idea that you have developed an interest. “Bro” listen up. Just because I enjoy your company, may want to go out for dinner or maybe even catch a movie with you does not entail I have all of a sudden fallen madly, deeply and irrevocably in love with you. A few words of advice; No, I do not have “feelings” for you. Get yourself off that pedestal. Simply put, you are cool and I enjoy your company. Opps, now you’re offended because you think I am “friend zoning” you but truth be told, that is all you ever were in the first place. Just my friend! Silly boy.

3. We seem to attract assholes. More specifically, those “bad boys” that everyone warns us about. Okay don’t get me wrong. Bad boys definitely have some sex appeal. That whole idea that maybe I could be the one to “change him” is sort of exciting, enticing and daring…Sort of a challenge. But in reality, we tend to get ourselves into sticky situations with men who don’t want to be all that sticky. I think these type of guys like the fact that we are nice until they realize that type of game is far too simple. End result? We get hurt. Damn you emotions! You see, as a wise T. Swift once said “boys only want love if it’s torture”.

4. We get forgotten. People often forget to ask us how we are doing. Instead, we appear to others as the Magic Mirror on the wall. You know, the one who the Evil Queen in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs consults to…Yeah that one. Others come to us solely because they believe we have all the answers for them. Or because they believe we have a knack for finding the positive in many negative scenarios, which is true. But for real. Excuse me? Do I look like your full-time, personal psychologist? Yes I am nice, happy (most of the time), rarely put up a fight, and try to make the best out of the worst, but is that a logical reason for you to continuously look to me for advice on any (usually all) of your current debacles in life. Okay let me refresh because I kind of sound like a bitch. In all honesty, I don’t mind. Heck, Let me help you out. However, when I do could you remember once in a while to ask me how I am doing as well? It seems that we come off as indestructible since many people tend to forget we too have issues of our own. Listen, I know, our positive nature gives you this fallacy that everything is super jolly in our world… And for all intents and purposes that’s a good thing. But you know, we’re human too. So at least show us that you’re equally interested in lending us your ear once in a while.

5. We are too understanding. We can usually rationalize any situation that works against us because we apparently value everyone else’s feelings but our very own. Argument with a friend/boyfriend/guy we are dating? Yup, we are suckers and typically the first to apologize, even if we are not at fault. I know what you are thinking, “we just like to take the higher road and be the bigger person”. However, the real truth is that we cannot fathom the thought of anyone being upset with us, thus we swallow our pride and make amends. This becomes problematic because we often set ourselves up to allow others to take advantage of us.

Sure sometimes being too nice can lead you down a path of preventable difficulties and sometimes it might even be exhausting, but at the end of the day being genuinely nice is rewarding (and let’s be honest, it’s better than being a miserable hog). So when push comes to shove this girl has no desire to be any other way and although I am probably too nice at times I’d like to think that I won’t always finish last.

Ciao xo,

Chaylavie