I’ve had my ups and downs in relationships. However, many of those so called “ups” were usually thrown right back down to the ground sadly because people aren’t always as kind as you’d believe them to be. Sometimes ignorance is definitely bliss but sometimes ignorance has nothing to do with it at all. Sometimes, people are just amazing actors and can fool you into believing almost anything. Bravo, bravo.

Like many, I’ve been with the guy who pretends to be nice but instead has a different and sneaky agenda to follow. I’ve been with the guy who claims to love everything about you but can’t wait for the chance to mold you into something more suited to his needs. I’ve been with the guy who pretends to pay attention during a conversation but is unable to partake in it because he actually has no idea what in the world you are talking about; usually because he isn’t interested enough. Lastly, I’ve been with the guy who can make you feel amazing about yourself one minute and make you question and doubt everything about yourself the next. I am not here to bash men. That is certainly not my intentions. In fact, this applies to men and their relationship with nasty, self-centered, egotistical women as well. However, since experiencing a relationship to date that is awesome and pretty freaking normal for once, I cannot fathom why more women today do not kick those confidence sucking, mind warping, and untrustworthy men to the curb! You see, it happens more often than not. Women put up with being treated like crap simply because they allow it, don’t value themselves, or even worse, they are not attracted to the “nice guy.”  Well I for one finally found my nice guy and guess what? He’s pretty great and… I am even attracted to him! I am so sick and tired of the nice guy finishing last. Why is it that so many woman give useless men all the opportunities in the world but refuse to give the nice guy a break from the “friend zone?”

Who freaking knows, but here are some of the obvious, not so quite obvious things about the nice guy that no one tells you…

1. He will become your best friend

He is going to genuinely care about you, your well-being and even more your day. There is nothing phony here, he actually cares. The best part is you will feel the sincerity when he asks how you are or what you have been up to. He is going to be your absolute favourite person to vent to, tell stories to and confide in and vice versa. There is no judgement from him, he’s your bestie! You will spend weekend nights in, order food, watch endless movies and end up passing out cuddled up next to each other because you are way too comfortable and way too full to stay awake.

2. Just because he is nice does not mean he is a push over

No he’s not a rug. To even assume that he is a doormat is unfair judgement and does not give you a hall pass to abuse the fact that he is a sweetheart. Furthermore, not every nice guy is going to allow you to walk all over them. You my lady are not a princess and do not deserve whatever your heart desires whenever you snap your fingers. He expects equality within this relationship. Want to keep your nice guy…nice? Treat him with the same kindness and respect and he won’t be going anywhere.

3. He’s a man. A real man

He has absolutely no issue being a gentleman. In fact, it comes naturally to him. He has good morals and values and has no intentions of ever making you doubt his feelings towards you. He could care less about what others think about him. He is confident but doesn’t show off.  To him chivalry is not dead. He will wine and dine you, however, when the shoe is placed on the other foot, he is perfectly okay being treated as well. The best part is that this doesn’t make him feel emasculated. Instead, he feels appreciated just as he deserves.

4. He doesn’t play games

He is honest. If he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn’t he doesn’t. Either way, he won’t hang you out to dry. He will never lead you on and make you believe in a relationship that isn’t there. However, if you do end up in a relationship with him, everything falls into place with such ease; not because everything is always perfect but simply because you can always count on him to be there in times of need.

5. He is not perfect but to you he will be

He is the perfect combination of sass and sweetheart. He knows there is a time and a place for everything and makes sound judgement based on that. There may come a time an argument will arise. That is just that way relationships work. It is inevitable. However, it will be different from any other asshole you have dated in the past. You can have an arguments knowing for a fact he will not resort to nasty put downs or threaten to leave you. He will not be malicious with you because no matter how upset he might be he would never want to cause you any harm.

6. He exists

Need I say more?  Ladies, wake up and smell the coffee.

xo Chaylavie