I have been a little hesitant to write about this. In fact it has been a while since I have wrote anything at all. However, I think that there is valuable information that should be shared and remembered daily. The last few weeks I have given a lot of thought to the expectations that many of us have of others and how those expectations can influence not just ones actions/decision making but more importantly their personality. Although many may not realize it, I think it is safe to say we have all been slaves to someones expectations at some point or another. I also think the reason behind this is largely due to our good ole friend Mr.Emotions.

It is almost hard to fathom but we literally encompass the ability to voluntarily give control of our feelings and emotions to any individual of choice.  In my eyes, this is probably one of mankind’s biggest faults. Think about it, we have the capability of literally handing over our trust, loyalty, love, time and patience to those who capture our heart both romantically and in even the simplest of friendships.

Maybe that guy or girl you were dating suddenly decide that they no longer have an interest in you. You automatically feel like shit and assume that you did something wrong. Am I unattractive? Am I boring? Was I just not good enough?  Heck, maybe you are just not what they are looking for, simply because you were unable to meet all of their so called “expectations”.  I have said it before and I will say it 100 times again; it is only human nature that many of us get trapped in that anxious mind-set and our brains automatically go into overdrive. We can over-think everything to the point of exhaustion and end up solely blaming ourselves anytime we are hurt by another. What other’s think about us can ultimately result in our self-confidence swaying back and forth between secure and insecure exactly like a pendulum. One day you may feel amazing but in a split second someone can take that all away.

When is the last time you looked in the mirror and thought to yourself “I am pretty freaking amazing?” To some it might sound conceited. But I cannot stress enough how important it is that you recognize your self worth. There will be times in your life when you will feel lower to the ground than a seal, (by the way seals are pretty freakin’ cute and amazing, just saying). Sometimes there will even be individuals who both knowingly and unknowingly feed your lack of self appreciation. But let me make something extremely clear, as clear as day and a summer blue sky. You do not need someone to make you feel special.

Although this one has taken me quite some time to learn (*I am still and always learning) simply realize that YOU are special. Why? Well I am glad you asked. You see all of those little tidbits that make you who you are? All of those components that work together to personally define you? That is exactly why you are special. If someone is incapable of seeing the very best in you, or better yet enjoy those “odd” characteristics that make you up then I say screw’em! Life is too short to give a care about what others do not personally like about you. This applies to both the dating world and any form of friendship for that matter. Stop worrying about those expectations that other’s have, take a deep breath and just be you. It will take some work and maybe even getting out of your comfort zone but I can assure you that it is liberating. With all things, through practice and patience it will become easier to accomplish. Once you free yourself from the chains of another’s emotional toll on you, you will realize just how green the grass is on the other side. However, unfortunately for them, they will not. Having high expectations of people only works in a perfect world and if you have looked around you would know how unrealistic that really is.

Not everything in life comes easy and sometimes things are easier said than done; but like Eminem says “Straighten up little solider”.  This world can be big, bad and intimidating but as long as you know your worth nothing else matters.

Ciao xo,

Chaylavie